the Explanation...

Explanation may be the wrong word choice, but it sounds better than, "my excuse is..."
In the last year and a half my husband and I have settled in a small town in North Georgia and have begun making friends. Invariably, I am asked relatively early in an introductory conversation "What is it that you do?". This may seem a simple question but lately the answer has become my life's work.
The honest answer is that I do not work in the sense that I wake up each day, perform some task similar to the previous day, and receive monetary compensation for my efforts. Even putting that thought into words makes me cringe. The truth is that it's very clear to me in my head 'what it is that I do'. I work on the 1940s home that my husband and I are restoring, I run errands, and play tennis. As cliche as it sounds, I also volunteer with several non-profit organizations. I have worked before. I've had all kinds of jobs: blue collar, white collar, day, night, high paying, low paying, no paying... whatever! I hated them all. I'm aware that hating traditional work is not a new concept, but opting to check myself out of the working world and not substituting several small children is less than socially acceptable. Do you hate me yet? Would you just prefer to be living my life? When I explain that I don't work or have children it seems to create the assumption that I am an entitled, lazy individual. This is not exactly the first impression I'm going for.
Believing that all difficult conversations are better approached with humor, I began looking for a creative way to describe my occupation, or lack there of. My wonderful husband, who loves me for reasons I do not understand, has taken to calling me his 'trophy wife' quite some time ago. Clearly the financial implication doesn't do much to squelch the entitlement concerns. I tried being a 'stay-at-home dog-mom', but now that all my friends are beginning to have children, this seems offensive. So, at the beginning of this month, I was on a mission trip with my father-in-law. Through conversations with some of the older volunteers staying in the same camp with our group, I discovered my new occupation... I've retired! This is a perfect explanation. Retirees travel, do not have children, do not want children, and do the things they need to each day and spend the remainder of their time working on the tasks they find most enjoyable. So, it came a little earlier in life for me. Here it is... my life as an underage retiree!